


if she would have it

by harajukucrepes



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 04:36:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3474647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harajukucrepes/pseuds/harajukucrepes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She falls in love too easily, that's what she does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if she would have it

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the 2015 Ichihime Valentines, hosted on tumblr, [here](http://ichihimefandomexchange.tumblr.com/post/112364132680/if-she-would-have-it-for-kamiyus).

*

 

if she would have it

 

*

 

She falls in love too easily, that's what she does.

 

She falls for the sky, says it reminds her of her kind brother who once bought her a huge teddy bear just because she wouldn't stop crying. She falls for the seagulls soaring above the sea, says it reminds her a little of Tatsuki, Tatsuki who free-spirited but protective at the same time. She falls for the ocean, because it reminds him of Chad, sometimes tranquil, sometimes restless. She falls for the sun, says it reminds her of him, the one who burns so bright during the day but dies at night to let the moon shine.

 

He doesn't mind it. He's used to it but at the same time not used to it, because he's familiar with her but he's a stranger to _having_ her so close, lives so intertwined.

 

*

 

It's a question he wants to ask her but would never be able to—do I make you happy?

 

*

 

He hardly ever could find anything to love, that's what she says. But it's ok, but he's him and even if he doesn't find it easy to love, he offers easy affection.

 

Your feelings are in the way you stay with them, she says. Your thoughts, the things you say to them, the things you do for them. They know it when you love, they can see it.

 

And so his question to her is—can you?

 

*

 

The thing they never told him about being a child of those in charge of the afterlife is that the way it changes your perception of time because you know precisely how life doesn't stop with death.

 

It's also the fact that he knows that she would be able to find her anyway, in this life no matter where they end up the moment her heart stops beating. Death is only morbid when it's capable of ending things and he knows how it doesn't.

 

For them both, they have a long way to go, a whole lifetime and more time in death, and he doesn't mind spending all of them with her—

 

—so really, it doesn't have to be him. At least not for now.

 

For him it's only her, but for her, it doesn't have to be him.

 

*

 

They told him that he knows nothing about love, that's why he's so scared of it.

 

They were wrong.

 

It's because he knows everything is there to know about love.

 

*

 

She says he's not afraid of love, it's just that people don't know how to love him back.

 

*

 

Somehow, because people around him are the same, he sometimes sees things the way they do. Life is short, do whatever you want without hesitating. Live in the now, for now is the present—or something. Dwell not on the past but live for your future. Take your chances, take all of them, you don't get a lot of them after all.

 

Tell her now—otherwise, when are you going to do it?

 

*

 

You like her, don't you? They ask.

 

She likes you too, so what's the problem?

 

The problem—and you don't understand—is that she's destined for far greater things, like an ocean of treasures for example.

 

Anything but him.

 

*

 

The thing they never told him about being a child of those in charge of the afterlife is that the way it forms the foundation of your choices.

 

Tell her now—but what's the rush?

 

Make her happy—and risk hurting her?

 

You know you would die for her—I did, I know I did, I died and lived for her. I'll do it over and over again it means I could protect her.

 

Live for her—and yet I always end up capable of hurting her the most.

 

It's not a choice he's making, because neither he nor she has chosen, but when it comes to having to make one, he'll do it.

 

*

 

You're a great person, she says to him. You make people around you feel safe.

 

*

 

She falls in love too easily, that's what she does.

 

She falls in love with the humongous building they are building in their town, because it's like having a clock tower the way those medieval towns do. She falls in love with the new bakery, because the smells of fresh bread makes her full even without having to eat. She falls in love with the new taiyaki stand, because the sweetness of the fillings is perfect for her. She falls in love with the new futuristic manga series, because doesn't this look like me, the robot I once drew in class as the future me?

 

She's in love with life, everything about it. She's probably in love with him, even when there's nothing to love about him.

 

*

 

So he tells her, you're a great person too. You make people around you feel loved.

 

*

 

He's probably in love with her, because everything about her is a whiff of relief, everything about her makes him feel like he could fit her in his arms, in this life and afterlife, here and now, then and always.

 

*

 

So he promises her once again. I'll protect you, no matter what you do.

 

*

 

She's probably in love with him. Even when he's the biggest threat to her wellbeing. Even when he has come so close to breaking his promise to her, so many times in the past, and who could tell what would happen in the future.

 

She's in love with him and that's why he is too, because she's the only one who knows how to love him.

 

*

 

He says he'll protect her, and it's not just because she's weak.

 

It's because she's so strong that he needs her.

 

*

 

He hardly ever could find anything to love, that's what she says. And she might be wrong, this time.

 

If he would want anything to love that way, the way people write stories and sing songs about, the way people die and live for, the way it makes people go mad with obsession, it's her.

 

So he'll protect her, he'll give her himself, over and over again, if she would have it.

 

*

 


End file.
